Can You Name The Candy?
1. ALMOND JOY, an essential candy, delicious to all.
2. PAYDAY, the only adults who eat Payday are anxious advertising executives, unemployed glassblowers, and former disco bandleaders.
3. REESE’S PEANUT BUTTERCUP, the consensus favorite of the Over-70 Crowd.
4. BIT O HONEY, only little girls who baby-sit like Bit O Honey, and a small number of Fleetwood Mac fans.
5. JUJUBES, in movie theaters only. Eating Jujubes outside a theater is considered crude and vulgar.
6. ABBA ZABBA , the great Lost Youth Candy. Men of all ages love Abba Zabbas.
7. BUTTERFINGER , another essential candy. Universally cherished.
8. GOOD AND PLENTY, another movie candy. Only people with defective character eat them.
9. MILK DUDS, yet another movie candy. In some states, it’s permissible to eat Milk Duds outside a theater.
10. RED HOT TAMALES, consumed by children from 3 to 9 only.
11. MILKY WAY, another essential candy. Probably the best candy for refrigerator hoarding.
12. BIG HUNK, a favorite of boys going through puberty. A first cousin of the Abba Zabba.
13. LOOK BAR, a lesser candy bar enjoyed by those who prefer an essential candy.
14. JUNIOR MINTS, only girls and woman eat Junior Mints, especially older sisters in their teens and young secretaries who go to the movies. No male has eaten a Junior Mint since July 19, 1956 in San Bernardino. He later completed rehabilitation, and has been both clean and abstinent of Junior Mints since May 1958.