Header Graphic
Insipid Doggerel
" ..  And there isn't any name the we cam't rhyme .. "


Did you ever ..

Admit you'll never have dibs on Deb?

Deck the corridors with boughs of holly for the Halls?

Glaze pinepple slices for your Fotheringham?

Spray your pan with Pam a la Allingham?

Cruise Richman Knoll, where who could ask for anything Moore?

Cogitate with Cogan?

Hunger for Younger?

Swan dive into Merriam's aquarium?

Pump your pedals vigorously when you play Bach's "Prelude, Trio

and Fugue in B-flat major" on  a Hammond?

Crunch that flan with McClanahan?

Drive a 2020 Mercedes-Benz Fledermaus aus der Hölle Autobahn VII through

the exasperating maize of Sunny Hills in a driving rain between Laguna Road,   

Chacal Hambriento Drive and  La Danza de la Coqueta Circle when 
your rear Rechnitzer system overheats and you have to knock on the door of a Korean gastroenterologist 
to ask his busty little Lancer sophomore daughter

if you could please use their phone to call the nearest repair center in

Stuttgart, and she leers at you and invites you inside for to

vape and whatever because no one else is home?

Dog-sled though Alaska with Razcka?

Eat raw turnips with Kavanagh?

Go on an expedition with Robert, Pam and Avril to ford

the Santa Ana River at Corona?

Prank Shepard with a 200-pound adult male leopard?

Floss away your plaque like Slezak?

Ask Hartshorn if he soaked his jockstrap in Self-Stying Adorn?

Sing "Who's Sorry Now?" with Dell'Ario?

Behave unruly around Stuhley?

Squawk around Parrett?

Dehn to dunk on the Dehns?

Ignore danger with Grainger?

Hang backstage with Browne and his Band of Renown?

Fasten your seat belt with Seefeldt and buckle up for safety?

Style Noonan at Vidal Sassoon?

Listen in when Don Felder persuaded  Van Gelder not to become a welder?

Waddle like a duck with Muck?

Feel just full to the brim with Brehm?

Neck in Hillcrest with Rodecker?

Pump iron with Kandyce (Smith) at Gold's Gym in Venice and spell 

her when she squats with 600?

Shop for a vest with West and Best under a harvest Mooney?

Gnaw on an Oh Henry bar as you schuss down a giant slalom with

Mitchell at Vail?

Take the big Fall?

Ride a wild camel with DuHamel?

Sneak into the heavily guarded Sills International Pies, Inc compound in  

industrial district of Corona Del Mar to steal rhubarb, pecan and blueberry pies cooling on the ledges of windows?

Feel as forsaken as Wakeman's Bassett hounds?

Pray for grace with Powers?

Sail a gondola at dawn under Ambridge?

Select tiles with Ryel?

Lose in straight sets to Ehinger with her Slazenger?

Ride along in a rickshaw with Hamshaw?

Have the next dance with Gudka, if you coulda?

Yearn to sit in the sauna between Braune and Brauner?

Subsist on sorghum like Morgan?

Use a ball peen hammer, an arc welder's auger, a Phillips screwdriver, 

painters chalk, a Texas backhoe, a #4 Beougher and a

standard Bisel properly to build a sturdy three-man outhouse on

the chilly shores of South Tahoe?

Go on a bargain 10-day 1950s school bus tour of Finland, Greenland and 

Wendland with a group of Indonesian rappers and diesel mechanics?

Keep your mug turned to Easton?

Hunt for civets with Privett?

Take Scaling sailing and snuggle in the crow's nest?

Take the night flight to Minneapolis with Scheid?

Stand back while Slonecker devoured a Arby's Barbecue Double Decker?

Have high expectations of (Nancy) Specht?

Hike to the summit of Pike's Peak, rest and Campanis?

Admire the harmonic structure of Crutcher?

Croon "Unchained Melody" for Toolie on the running board  of

a '42 Ford truck parked in Missoula?

Refuse to eat suet with Jewett?

Finger-pick a Fender Telecaster for Loeck?

Catch your dinner with Bucheister's Bass-Master?

Drag your sore, aching rhomboids in for treatment by Twombly?

Finally had enough with Naff?

Learn about the Birds and the Bees from Beaman?

Blow your paycheck with Wiechec?

Sit on the dock of the bay with Paulk, wasting time?

Let Nason sit on your shoulders at  a Toby Keith concert

when he belts out "The Caissons Keep Rolling Along"?

Nibble gnocchi with Bianchi?

Crawl on your knees over the searing sands of the Sahara

with Gaggia and see a mirage?

Dream of a candle-lit feast with Easton?

Feel tempted to cuss out McPherson?

Serenade a Lancelle on her balcony like Romeo?

Dance like a pagan with Wagen?

Weep 'cause you'll never Shake and Bake with Baker?

Twitter Irene Cara with McNamara?

Splash in the waves with Kalklosch?

Dream of a heavy metal concert date with a strangely 

massive Ferguson?

Get over it like Conover?

Wipe off the sweatband of your 20-gallon Stetson?

Slurp clam chowder with Campbell?

Chug a whole keg of Busch Bavarian Beer with Eggerts?

Listen to the wind cry Mariah with Tobias?

Check the facts, ma'am, with Faxon?

Work as a counselor at the Everly Summer Shortstop Academy

in the bayou outside Yahoo City, Mississippi where the owner

wakes up the kids every morning at dawn by singing "Bird Dog"

over the PA system with a bank of Marshall amps behind him?